
Farm Fresh BlogWednesday, May 05 2010
NEWS FLASH! Napolean's little buddy, Ruffy, is staying! (Her husband vetoed adding another horse, even a pint-sized one! We made the deal that any time she wants to borrow the little fellows for a parade, she can just pick them up!) Things are returning to normal. The boys are bookends and Montoya has returned home from the trainer's place.
Monday, May 03 2010
The Porch Ponies are blowing their shaggy winter coats. Great gobs of pony hair are floating everywhere. I try to brush them but it's hard to keep ahead of the spring blow. Sometimes you just need a little help from a friend.
This brings me to our news for the day. Today we are taking Ruffy, my red-headed demon, back to his previous owner. She spoke to me over the weekend and the family misses the little devil. They regularly used him in parades and he is a mainstay with the cheerleaders. When the town sees those cheerleaders, they expect to see Ruffy and Napolean. So I agreed to sell Ruffy back to her. I want to keep Napolean and she has agreed to help me find a companion for him to replace Ruffy. Other Half has informed me that Napolean doesn't NEED a companion, that a goat would work just fine. But I say, NAY! (neigh!!!) A goat can't do this:
"Ohhhhh yeahhhhhh! That's the spot!"
Here is my favorite Porch Pony adventure!
"Ah HAH!" I said to the Border Collie (who is always with me). "Now would be the perfect time to move my truck outside the gate." So I did. I opened the gate, got into the truck, and started to back out. That's when everything went to Hell in a Handbasket. Ruffy, hereafter referred to as The Red-Headed Demon, heard the gate opening and said to himself, "Why lookee there, Freedom is just behind that gate. I'm outta here!" His little fat self can move with all the speed and grace of a professional football player. He hustled out of the canal paddock with speed that would make a Derby winner envious. In vain I tried to maneuver the truck to cut him off. Wrong! As soon as he squeezed his little fat ass through that tiny space between my truck and the gate, I swear the little bastard did an End Zone Dance. I wasn't overly alarmed at this point, I just got out of the truck and started the sideways ease towards him. You all know the game -- the "I'm not trying to catch you, I'm just walking kinda in your direction" game. Unfortunately, The Red-Headed Demon has played this game before and knows how it ends. Off he trotted down the street. Now I was getting alarmed. I live on the end of a quiet dead-end street, but The Red-Headed Demon was headed toward a very busy county road at a fast clip. The Border Collie offered to help, but fearing the she'd get kicked, or end up chasing him further down the street, I declined. I was now trotting a parallel line along the street. The Demon was trotting down the street, and I was trotting in the neighbor's yards (in Crocs . . . Note to self: wear running shoes) At this point, I was deep in serious prayer. "Dear Lord, HELP ME!!!!!!!" That's when I turned around and realized that Napolean, The Tiny Emperor, was ALSO running along beside us. I said a few choice cuss words and prayed harder. (I know, it seems a bit contradictory, but God knows I'm weak.) I phoned my neighbor at the end of the street in hopes that she could head them off. Too bad, she was not home. By then, I was in the middle of the street and the minis were already approaching the busy highway. At this point, I was praying out loud, "PLEASE LORD, PLEASE HELP ME!!!" I ran up to the house of some neighbors that I barely know and started ringing the doorbell. The son (a police officer) came to the door with his mother. I frantically pointed at the ponies who were by now crossing the busy highway! Fortunately, the young man understood the language of hysterical women, and with very little explanation, the kid figured out the whole story. We shoved my poor Border Collie into the house with his mother, and he and I took off after the ponies. And I prayed some more. You know those folks who don't have jobs in the middle of the day and you see them just walking down the street? Well . . . at that very moment, a young man in his 20's was walking down that busy road. (His name is John.) The young man saw the ponies cross the highway. He saw the traffic slow down to avoid hitting their little fat asses. (Thank you again, Lord!) The ponies crossed the road to enter a hay field with grass taller than they were. Eric (the police officer) and I crossed the road after the ponies and John came to join us. I easily walked up to Napolean and caught him by the mane. He grinned at me and said, "Look, Ma! Look at this great place Ruffy found!" I hugged Napolean and handed him to Eric. The Red-Headed Demon looked over his shoulder, saw that his companion had been captured, and headed through the hay field toward the canal. At this point, I decided we were safe enough to run back and get halters, so I left John and Eric with Napolean while I ran (jogged) back in Crocs. (I'm never going out of the house without running shoes again!) I drove back with halters. Napolean was knee-deep in ecstasy. The Red-Headed Demon had settled down and was enjoying the bounty of his naughtiness too. We put a halter on Napolean and Eric held him while John and I headed out after Ruffy. John asked, "How fast can he run?" I admitted that to a twenty-something year old man, a little fat pony did NOT look very fast, but I advised him against a foot race with an animal who could give a zebra a run for his money. I walked towards Ruffy as I explained to The Red-Headed Demon that I was late for work and that he could have gotten himself, Napolean, and my Border Collie killed on a busy highway. He stopped walking away from me, turned and grinned. Then he walked right up to me. I hugged him. Halters on both minis, we all started the long trip back. Once at the truck, Eric and I thanked John and bid him farewell. Then Eric climbed in the back of the truck and held the lead ropes while two very happy little fat ponies trotted along behind the truck. We stopped to pick up the very confused Border Collie who was waiting in the house with Eric's mother and then drove home. I thanked God again . . . and again . . . and some more. Then I hugged the Red-Headed Demon and informed him that he would never be allowed the opportunity to slide his little fat self through that gate again. He winked at Napolean and looked angelic. I love my little Red-Headed Demon.
Vaya Con Dios, my little red friend! Saturday, May 01 2010
Do you know what farming people do with their tax checks? ... ....
..... They take the dogs to Petsmart! (Yep! We're big spenders!) This week we packed up Thing 1 and Thing 2 and took them to the big city! Now I don't know about Thing 2, since he's a rescue, but Thing 1 has NEVER been inside a Petsmart. (she shops at the feedstore) Needless to say, she was ga-ga over Petsmart. Imagine a teenage girl's first trip to the mall. Thing 1 took an olfactory tour of everything! She had never SEEN so much cool stuff!
Thing 2 came over to see for himself. They decided that this giant barn must not have any cats. (disclaimer: no rats were terrorize while these pictures were taken!)
Border Collie REALLY enjoyed her trip to the big city! She loved Petsmart except for one thing:
Wednesday, April 28 2010
Spring brings flowers and baby goats! I never get tired of watching these little dudes!
But occasionally they do something to remind me that even at this age, they are goats!
Tuesday, April 27 2010
In Search Of . . . I knew it was coming. I knew it the moment I saw his eyes light up. Other Half sat across the table and listened to another agent describe the gi-normous rattlesnake he'd seen in a federal preserve as he flew over it in a helicopter. I saw that gleam and I knew. I knew that sometime in the near future we would find ourselves in that preserve. Flash forward to Sunday morning. We had plenty of chores we could have been doing, but after a hard week of work that actually earns a paycheck, we were ready for a break. I suggested going to the Sporting Goods store for some new running shoes. (That's normally as far down the Getting Healthy path I tend to travel.) Other Half suggested that we take the Border collies (Thing 1 & Thing 2) out in the jeep. He and the dogs could wait outside while I bought shoes. Sounded good. Like tripping over a barbed wire fence, I fell right into it. "Ok! Let's take the Border collies out in the jeep!" But once we got rolling, the plan changed. In his defense, I changed it first. While slow-rolling down the road, I changed the game plan because I really loathe the idea of going into the city on my day off. "Hey, instead of going into the city, let's just drive around out here for a while," I said. Oh that sounded good to him! (I bet it did.) As soon as he suggested heading to the preserve, I remembered the gi-normous rattlesnake. He didn't even mention the snake. Okie Dokie, Smokie. The Border Collies were NOT getting out of the jeep. I was NOT getting out of the jeep either. But that lasted until I saw the wildflowers. I had to get out and photograph this.
This made me get back in the jeep. We saw lots of alligators . . . lots and lots and lots of alligators. (The Border Collies were NOT getting out of the jeep!) Cowdog had a blast. He loves riding in the jeep.
Because he is a Border Collie, he has to have a least one bizarre quirky behavior. Cowdog snaps at passing cars as he goes down the road. Lily finds this habit most annoying. So while he bounced and snapped his way down the highway, Lily glared at him, angry that she was strapped into the back seat with an idiot. After a while she just gave up and went to sleep. Despite lots of looking, we never saw a gi-normous rattlesnake. Trust me, I did LOTS and LOTS of looking for snakes. Finding snakes was VERY important to me! I think Other Half was a little disappointed that he didn't find a giant rattlesnake. I was okay with it though. And that's why I didn't get field fencing put up in the big pasture this weekend!
Monday, April 26 2010
This is why a certain Miniature Horse is worth his weight in gold: and this: and this: and this: and this: and this too: I wanted to take this child home with me!
I wonder if her mother would notice if I just loaded her in the horse trailer and took her home with the pony. Hmmmm. . . probably so. What a pity. This one even comes with cute overalls too! All this pony riding was because it was The Supervisor's first birthday!!!
But unfortunately The Supervisor was so excited about the Birthday Happenings that she refused to take her nap. Thus . . .
Now let's take another look at those cakes!
Saturday, April 24 2010
This is why I was late for work yesterday: I was headed for work on time. (I really was!) I stepped out the back gate and found this little guy. Brand spankin' new baby goat. Screech! Took one look at him and knew I was gonna be late for work . . . again. We checked him out. He seemed healthy. Found the afterbirth. It looked okay . . . but it wouldn't go in the bag. That afterbirth had a life of its own. It oozed across the shovel and like an octopus, wriggling away and escaping before I could stuff it in the bag. Why me? No one else is late for work because they can't get their afterbirth in the trash bag! I'm cursed! This post is courtesy of my work buddy, Fergus Fernandez, who, upon hearing my excuse, said "You have GOT to put THAT on the blog." Here it is, Fergus! Wednesday, April 21 2010
Dog & Water Hoses
Some of us get it . . .
. . . some of us don't.
Monday, April 19 2010
I am a child of the Starbucks generation. I am that woman standing in front of the microwave, wishing it would "hurry up!" But over the years, I've come to realize that faster and cheaper isn't always better. It's easy to be seduced by Fast & Cheap. Millions of dollars are spent trying to convince me that I simply MUST HAVE the latest and greatest widget that will undoubtedly make my life easier. I've spent years working to pay for widgets that I had to have because they would make my world a happier place, and ya know what? They didn't. And what did I do with the time the widget supposedly saved me? I worked, so I could buy more widgets! Farms and ranches change that kind of thinking. They force you to slow down. Nature works in its own time. No matter how long I watch a pregnant goat, she won't have that baby until she's damned good and ready. And no manner of widgets will make it rain, or stop it from raining. It is what it is. There's a lot of wisdom to be gained on a farm.
"Excuse me???" (My mind struggled with this idea.) "I live in a subdivision. My wife and kids aren't home during the day, so I wouldn't really have anything to do." I was still in a hazy fog somewhere. The very concept boggled my mind. I tried to hire him to work on my fences but alas, he had no repressed rancher-type tendencies lurking under the surface, desperate to be released by the feel of unrolling heavy bundles of wire. More's the pity. But my point is . . . when did Americans run out of things to do? Is technology so much better that we can now just "Live to Work?" And can we trust it? That job that pays for all your widgets can disappear tomorrow. Then where will you be? Call me crazy, but the older I get, the less trusting I become. One good hurricane can show you just exactly how puny your techonology is. Want to know who does just fine in the wake of a hurricane? A redneck! After the last big hurricane, Son made the comment that "Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until you need him." He said this as he was driving around in his 4wheeler with his chain-saw, helping out his neighbors. Our community did just fine. We were a community of farmers, ranchers, and rednecks. While many people in the Big City stood by and waited for the government to help them, the rednecks cleaned their own roads. They took down their own trees and made it easier for the power crews to come into their community. They fed each other. They took care of each other. Now you can argue that they still used gasoline, and they did all this so electricity could be restored, but the point is, they had the SKILLS to survive. It wasn't always comfortable, but it sure beat the heck out of waiting for the government to do it for us. When Other Half and I went to a historical reenactment last weekend, it got me to thinking about technology. We watched a blacksmith at work. He had dozens of school children fascinated, (and Other Half). While he puttered, he talked about how valuable the village blacksmith used to be. The blacksmith made the tools for every other craftsman in town. As I watched the old man work, I realized he was one of a dying breed, a true craftsman. If you look up the word "technology" in a thesaurus, along with the words, "science," "mechanics," and "automation," you will also see words like, "craft" and "skill." When did we lose the craft and skill in our world? When did blacksmiths become an endangered species? At the same reenactment, we found a Dutch Oven Society that showed us how to cook darned near everything you'd ever want in cast iron. No electricity. I was captivated. These people made better food than I could make in an oven. (That isn't saying much. I have the attention span of a butterfly when I cook!) I understand cooking over coals is much more demanding than flipping on the gas and burning your food, but I'm tired of being a slave to technology and am more than willing to learn. Some friends of ours down the street have draft horses. It never fails to make my heart smile when I see that big team of percherons walking down the highway. I know another old man who drives his mule team to the feed store. It's certainly not faster than using a pick-up, but it always starts on a cold morning.
Sunday, April 18 2010
Vacations for us are often "working vacations." We tend to end up looking at cattle, sheep, or goats, or . . . we look at horses and dogs that we can use to work cattle, sheep or goats. This vacation was no exception. We took some time off to go look at sheep, but still ended up at several cattle auctions. (Go figure! Other Half can NOT pass up a cattle auction.)
We came away from our vacation with several points of wisdom: * Cattle prices vary greatly across the state. (and bulls are bringing more than steers per pound now so we can save ourselves the headache of castration this spring) * A vacation is not a good time to cut out caffeine. There is nowhere for your spouse to hide. * If you are using a TomTom navigational system, there is a big difference between Abilene State Park and Alilene State Park. Hmpphf! Whodathunkit? * The goat and sheep capital of Texas is Goldthwaite. No, I still don't know how to pronounce it, but the people are nice. * The people of Goldthwaite do not get angry when you cause a traffic jam by stopping in the road to help a goat get her head out of the fence. (and it's a nice way to meet the local ranchers) * Hunting up old friends that you haven't seen in years is a good thing. It's like finding a sparkly treasure in your dresser drawer that you forgot you had. * Even if you already have two dogs stuffed into the cab of an F350 pickup truck, you can still manage to fit in a third if he has a hard-luck story and sad brown eyes. * If you have been waiting for weeks for a goat to give birth, she will most certainly do so when you leave on vacation. * Other Half can move pretty fast when he sneaks into the woods to pee and finds a snake at his feet. This is especially true after you have been to Sweetwater, home of the Rattlesnake Round-Up!(The mental image of that man coming out of the forest with his pants un-done still has me in stitches!) * There are no schedules when Other Half finds a cattle auction, a giant tack store, or a state park that just happens to be hosting a historical reenactment complete with period costumes, soldiers, blacksmithing, dutch oven cooking, and God help us, CANNONS! Quote for the trip: "There isn't a cannon in the back pasture." Touche'
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