Farm Fresh Blog

     Other Half has been out of town (again!) and I've been juggling everything at home (again!)  But this time I've chosen to take advantage of the time alone and start renovating this house! I've been painting since he left! 

     As you recall we sold my little farm to move into the "cow house" and buy the big property in North Texas.  I was completely on board with this except for one tiny little detail . . . I didn't like the "cow house." 

    The "cow house" needs lots of work both inside and out. At first I wasn't planning on doing it simply because I have neither the time nor the money for home renovation, but then I discovered Annie Sloan paint. It all started innocently enough, you see.  Our furniture didn't match. Mine didn't match his. At first I just planned to send a few pieces off to get them distressed and painted.  ("distressed" is a relative term in this home. We have dogs, therefore ALL our furniture is "distressed" in some way.)

     I love the look of distressed and "white-washed" furniture, and the more I looked around the house, the more furniture I wanted painted. I soon realized I didn't have enough money to hire someone to do this.  :(

Enter Annie Sloan.

     On my way to work every day I pass a little cottage on the highway that recently put out a banner which read:

"We sell Annie Sloan chalk paints."

Hmmmm... what is Annie Sloan paint?

     So I got on the internet and discovered that Annie Sloan was the answer to my prayers!  Here was a type of paint which was easy to work with, easy to distress, easy to white-wash, and didn't require me to strip or sand! In fact, with this paint, you are only limited by your imagination. ("Hot Damn, Loretta! Sign me up!")

While researching Annie Sloan paint, I stumbled upon this:

Be still my beating heart!

    I LOVE this woman's website! I was so inspired! Not only was I planning to re-do my furniture, I was planning to re-do the whole damned house!

     I went back to the little cottage to buy some paint and ended up signing up for a class on painting techniques. That was Saturday. My life hasn't been the same since. 

     I've mentally painted everything in the house, from the walls and furniture to the lamps. I literally painted the dog. This dog now sports a sage green line down the side of her face. Don't tell Other Half. (That's what he gets for leaving his new patrol dog at home.)

     The kitchen, which was a dark place with pine cabinets and holly green walls, was my first victim. (If I'm lyin', I'm dyin'!) Other Half apparently was more concerned with putting in a new roping arena than with re-painting the house when he first bought it, (Single men think that way.) so those walls have been that dark for years. Ladies and Gentlemen, I white-washed those suckers today!

     It was so easy I almost cried. I've suffered that kitchen for years and all it took was 4 hours and one can of paint. Tomorrow I'll put on the wax. I still need to re-do the floor and put knobs on the cabinets, but the room, ahh, the room!  I can SEE in there now!  It's like God said, "Let there be light."

     I'm so happy with this paint that I wish I had known about it when I had my little farm house. I would have painted those cabinets too!  My advice to you is this:

If you want to jazz up things around your house, play on "The Purple Painted Lady" website to get some ideas, and then buy yourself some Annie Sloan paint. You won't be sorry!!! 

(And YES! That paint is well worth the $38 for that tiny little can!)

Aja is settling in nicely, but her first day to meet the pack was touch and go. (literally) Because we have so many dogs it's necessary to pair them off into sub-packs so they can still live like dogs and have family time with us. In order to accomplish this, Aja needed a friend. The obvious candidate was Ranger the Blue Heeler. He has social skills, and he's tough enough to handle a big girl like Aja.

What Aja lacked in social skills, she made up for in exuberance.

 I think Ranger's facial expression pretty much sums it up here.

But he soon got things under control and began to teach Aja the subtle art of play.

 "I chase you."

 "You chase me."

Now this worked out well. Ranger has taught lots of puppies and is both tough and patient. The next best candidate as a playmate for Aja was Dillon. The problem was that although Dillon has lots of doggy social skills because he was raised in a large pack, he has never accepted a new member into the pack and was initially afraid and hostile. After watching her for a day or so, we tried them together.

 Dillon immediately ran and got his stick. Actually, it's more like a club.  He and Oli wrestle with this club. There is a real art to this. If you don't grab it when he swings it, you WILL get konked with the end.

 Oli has it all figured out. It's a good way for them to blow off steam without getting too physical.

Unfortunately Aja didn't understand the game. She just wanted him to drop the club and wrestle with her like Ranger does. As you can see from his hackles, Dillon was more than a little frightened of her "Baby Huey" antics.

And then he discovered the perfect way to deal with an overenthusiastic playmate. When he swings his head toward her, the end of the club smacks the crap out of Aja. She either gets out of the way, grabs the club, or gets the s@*t whacked out of her.

Girlfriend never did learn not to rush up and try to pounce him, so she took lots of smacks with the club.

 "Dad! He won't play right!"

I'm happy to report that after a week, she is fitting in well. She and Ranger are best buddies and she plays with Dillon too. Aja still hasn't figured out the club game, but she doesn't get smacked as much now, and he isn't as afraid of her.  After much study, I've come to the conclusion that he actually smacks the crap out of her on purpose. When she gets too rough, he swings that club and lets her have it.

"Alright Sister, try it again!"

Oli has a message for you . . .

"Retirement does NOT suck!"

Aja (pronounced like "Rajah") is a 4 year old sable German Shepherd. She is Other Half's 5th patrol dog in his 34 year career.  Just watching her play in the yard reminds me how much I do love a German Shepherd.

Well, Other Half returned home with his new patrol dog yesterday. Since I was already at work, I met him in The Big City so I could meet Aja before I came home.

Rule #1 When You Live With A Police Dog - Make sure the dog knows YOU!

It is probably not a good idea to walk into a dark bedroom in the middle of the night with a dog that bites if that dog does not know you. Even if the dog is in a kennel, it's a bad way to meet said dog.

So I met them and played with her before he took her on home. She is an AWESOME dog. Very personable. Very friendly. Very high drive. Girlfriend will stand on her head for tennis ball.  So satisfied that the dog knew me, I went back to work, and he went on home.

Here is his report on his arrival at home:

Briar wanted to kill her. No surprise there. Aja is a Predator Deluxe.

Ranger and Cowboy think she is the sexiest thing they've ever seen.

 In fact, Ranger is her new best friend. He is the only dog she has been loose with thus far. They met in the yard. She ran straight at him with her hackles up. He froze. She landed in front of him with a play bow and he dropped into a bow himself, and round and round the yard they went. From that moment they were friends.

Dillon is still in shock. He was aggressive at first but now he's re-thinking his initial impression. We still won't put them together.

Oli likes her just fine. They have no reason to be friends, but at least they're not trying to eat each other. Oli is not jealous in the least bit. She is happy to be a house pet.

Since even on a good day, Trace is a troll. We haven't let him meet her yet.

Ice doesn't care one way or the other. She lives in her own little world and just wants the other dogs to stay out of her way.

  "or ELSE!"

But the most amusing reaction came from Lily . . .

. . . Other Half reported that Lily took one look at this new member of the family, silently turned her back on them and walked away.  She refused to even be curious.

"You brought home ANOTHER dog?!! Really?!! ANOTHER dog! Are you freakin' kiddin' me? Alright Mister. You need to understand that I have seniority around here. Me!!! This better not affect my pay or benefits not one bit, Mister!"

Other Half is on his way home with his new patrol dog, Aja.

Early reports are that she was quite enthusiastic about being sprung out of "doggy jail" (vet clinic kennel) and is tickled pink in her new role as Other Half's new partner. He has introduced her to such novelties as Cracker Barrel cuisine (a new favorite!) and hotel room beds. (another new favorite.) Aja reports that clearly Life has been holding back on her. Other Half is now her new Best Friend.

Meantime, on the home front, Oli is settling into her new role as a couch potato house dog. Oli LIKES being a retired dog! She reports that retirement was "under-rated" and everyone should try it.

Since she is adapting so well to retirement I don't expect any complainants from her when Other Half comes home with this new patrol dog. Oli has announced that she is now "Mommy's dog," and has moved into the house full time.

Aja is due home this afternoon, just about the time thunderstorms will be sweeping through the area. Joy. Joy. Thrill. Thrill. We will be trying to integrate 9 dogs while dealing with the weather. Trust me, Ringling Brothers has nothing on this family . . .

Each morning after I feed the livestock, I take Briar for a walk so she can pee on everything, mark her territory, survey her kingdom.

          Note: Early morning=shavings still stuck in her fur.

It's a peaceful time for reflection . . .

. . .  and rolling in horse poop.

I like the above shot because you can actually see the horse cookies shoved into the air by her antics. But I notice something else too.

"Hey Briar, you need your toenails clipped!"

 "Whut?"

"Ewe keN rEeLLy sUk tha LIfe rIte owtta a WaLk, mOm!"

I put dishes away this afternoon and found a tennis ball on the kitchen counter beside the clean dishes. I don't play tennis. It was a dog ball.  On the kitchen counter. Beside the clean dishes. (groan)

Also on the counter was an electronic dog collar. It was charging. Right beside the cell phone. And the loaf of bread. And the stack of canned dog food I had to buy because Ice has lost most of her teeth now and can't eat dry dog food.

Last night I went to bed and found a tennis ball underneath the covers. Then I found another one. The walls in this house are supposed to be white. The odd thing though is that about 21" from the floor, there is a muddy scum line in the hallway where muddy dogs rub against a white wall. This can be scrubbed off, but it magically appears again. I ask myself, "Do other people live this way??!!"

The white tile in the foyer is dappled with muddy pawprints and don't even get me started on the carpet. Around here, dog crates serve as pieces of furniture. Ikea should really look into that concept. It's a marketing idea whose time has come.

As if this is not proof enough that we live in a dog house, I give you more. Other Half and I have a Queen size bed. That bed must accomodate us, a Border Collie, a Labrador, and sometimes a Blue Heeler.

Except for the Livestock Guardian Dog, no one is a 100% "outside" dog because we believe they all need social time as part of a family. This means breaking everyone into "sub-packs" according to personality and juggling those packs. The packs vary according to weather and what job is currently required, but the 'dog house shuffle' goes something like this:

Trace picks on Dillon so they can't be alone together. Lily picks on Oli and Briar so she can't be alone with either of those dogs or she'll get her tiny arse whipped. Cowboy picks fights with Ranger, even through a fence, so they cannot be loose with each other or across a fence from each other. Cowboy and Ranger pick on Trace but don't fight, so they can be in the yard with him, but not in a dog run where he can't get away from them. Briar would eat Oli because a good LGD knows a predator when she sees one, and so if Briar is loose in the yard, Oli cannot be. And the list goes on . . .

I tell you all this because despite the fact that we live in a DOG HOUSE, we are getting another dog.  (crickets chirping)

Yes. (that was pretty much my thought too, except the crickets were hopping in and out of my opened mouth)

Other Half's newest police K9 partner, Oli, has just been medically retired.

The long and short of it is that she has a knee problem. There is little point in pinpointing the exact problem because she is not a good candidate for any kind of surgery or anything that involves crate rest. As far as the agency is concerned, it is not cost-effective to spend a lot of money to diagnose the problem, then fix the problem, only to have her re-injure it doing bite work. Their money is better spent in buying Other Half another dog.  Yeah. . . you see where this is going.

Don't get me wrong, I do want him to have another dog because his work is dangerous and he needs a K9 partner. I just feel better knowing that a dog is watching his back, but that means we will then have NINE DOGS! (9!!! 1 more than 8!)

And it will most likely be a male dog. Oh goody. Here are some possible candidates:

Handsome boys.  I am praying that this new dog is laid back like Zena, his last patrol dog. She was the epitomy of the perfect dog and I still miss her.

 It hurt to give her up, but she is this dear old lady's sunshine, and Zena deserved to be that for someone.

So what will happen to Oli? Well, don't panic, she's in no danger. She now belongs to us, but we're still looking into re-homing her because at our home, she is simply one dog among nine and like Zena, she deserves to have a home where she can be someone's "special" dog.

On the other hand, unlike Zena, Oli is also a very active Belgian Malinois as well as a former police dog. Homes who are qualified to handle that are few and far between. Thus, if we cannot find a suitable forever home for Oli, she will assume the new job as Dillon's Best Friend.

 "Wooo hooooo!"

Since her retirement, we are more concerned with her mental health than her physical health. If we confine her to rest the knee, she will simply spin off her excess energy, thus causing her to limp. If we leave her loose in the house with Dillon she richochets off furniture, plays tug of war, drags him across the room, is dragged by him across the room, and generally has a romping good time. And guess what. It doesn't bother her leg. They exercise each other, and she's happier than I've ever known her.
 
So although our first choice is to find a home for her where she can be special, the next best thing is to just let her be a normal (as normal as a malinois can be) dog here at home. Oli is tickled to death. Like Ferdinand the Bull in the Children's Book, Oli really didn't like being a police dog. She loves the "training" to be a police dog, but the actual work involves long hours of sitting in the back of a police car. B-O-R-I-N-G

And so for now, she will be Dillon's full time buddy, and as her limp improves, I guess I'll start jogging with her. She would actually be a perfect jogging companion for jogging through the ghetto, but then again, I don't live in the ghetto, and I don't really jog, (and when I do, I take my Border Collie,) so Oli's more likely to get exercised by bouncing off the furniture with the Labrador. But if I ever find myself jogging in the shady parts of The Big City, Oli is my go-to partner!

So stay tuned. Yes, I definitely live in a Children's Book.

"Old dog. New dog.

Red dog. Blue dog."

Now I ask you, would you walk past this sign?

Would you read this sign, look in the yard and see a police K9 truck, and STILL open the gate to walk into a GATED COMPOUND?

I'm just askin'.

It happened like this:

I'm getting ready for work. In the shower. Nekkid. I point this out merely so you can understand my predicament. Other Half is in bed. Asleep. Deep sleep.  Now I'm happily scrubbing up with my goat milk soap when I hear the sound of blue heeler peeling out of the bathroom so fast that he broke the sound barrier. Stick my head around shower curtain. See nothing. Hmmmm.... go back to shower. Then hear all hell breaking loose at the front door. Peek around shower curtain. See nothing. Darn. Tip toe nekkid to bathroom door. See power company truck at front gate. Double darn.

Do mental headcount:

Briar - in yard
Oli - in house
Ice - in house
Ranger - in house
Dillon - in house
Lily - in house
Trace - in outside kennel
Cowboy - in outside kennel

I count them on my fingers to make sure I haven't forgotten anyone. (when you have 8 dogs you have to do that!)

Definitely sounds like five dogs raging at the front door. Hear echo of two dogs in kennels raging. They almost drown out the knock at the door.

Yes!  You read that right. A KNOCK AT THE DOOR!

I am standing in my hallway, naked as a jaybird, still wet, with five dogs raging at the front door, and someone at the door. (note: husband has not even rolled over in bed)

Tiptoe back to bedroom and wake up husband. Inform him that someone is AT THE DOOR! Someone has ignored BEWARE OF DOG/CAUTION POLICE WORK DOG signs and walked right through the gate. Other Half jumps out of bed to get door. He lacks social skills on a good day, but I am less than concerned about him hurting anyone's feelings at the moment.

After all, it takes a special kind of person to ignore those signs.

I hear him snarling at dogs. I hear him walk outside. Then I hear muffled talking, but no shouting. Still, I get dressed quickly and head out there myself.

By some miracle they are talking civily. I listen as the man explains that he "reads dogs really well" and wasn't worried about being bitten. I assure him that when a blue heeler is attached to his leg or a malinois is attached to his a@# he might re-think his actions.  He is clearly unconcerned. He tells me that EVERYONE has these signs and he walks past them all the time with no problem.

I then ask, "Everyone has a BEWARE! POLICE SERVICE DOG sign?"

He allows as how not everyone has that particular sign.

"With a POLICE truck in the yard?"

He allows as how he saw that too, and no, not everyone has those either.

Other Half and I are clearly dumbfounded. The man is nice enough, but we cannot get him to understand that it was pure dumb luck that out of eight dogs, (four of those that would probably bite), he happened to walk through the gate when only the most friendly dog was loose. He is still confident that he wouldn't be bitten. Even by the unfriendly dogs.

Even by Blue Heeler The Space Cadet that we have to drag across Texas on every vacation because he's such a freakin' psycho that no one else wants to take care of him.

I emphasize to him that for the safety of THE DOGS he must respect these signs. I explain that the DOGS are the ones who get into trouble when someone ignores all warnings and walks through closed and chained gates, and gets bitten by a dog. Society and insurance companies blame the dog and the homeowner.

He still doesn't get it. He has a job to do. He needs to get in the yard.

I point out that our phone numbers are in his database. He agrees that they are but he didn't call them.

Did he honk the horn?

No, the dog seemed friendly.

I ask myself how many police dogs look like Briar.

After much discussion, we still couldn't convince him that for his safety and the safety of our dogs, and every other dog he encounters, he needs to stay out of the freakin' yard! (And call the phone number provided) Will he do it again? Yes. Yes, I'm sure he will.

(I bang my head in frustration!)

However do we protect ourselves and our dogs from these people?!!