The internet is filled with unique alarm clocks designed to separate even the most dedicated of sleepers from his pillow. We don't have any of those clocks around here though. Other Half is the kind of heavy sleeper that makes you want to take his pulse to decide whether you need to call the Medical Examiner or not, so getting him out of bed is a chore that should begin an hour before you actually need his feet on the floor. I have, however, discovered the best alarm clock on the market:
The Obsession Alarm Clock!
The Obsession Alarm Clock cuts the hour-long wake-up time into a mere 15 minutes! Yes! Fifteen minutes. Installation is easy!
Merely open the bedrom door, insert the Obsession Alarm Clock, toss in a ball, and close the door. The Obsession Alarm Clock does the rest!
No more trying to reason with an unresponsive lump in the bed. No more shaking the sleeper. No more pleading. No more pulling back the covers. Simply insert the Obsession Alarm Clock, toss in a ball, and forget about it!
The Obsession Alarm Clock works with state of the art efficiency to poke, prod, and scratch even the most heavy of sleeper out of his slumber.
And all this can be yours for the simple price of -
$19.95 + shipping and handling!
But WAIT! There's more!
Just pay additional shipping and handling charges and we will ship not one, but -
TWO Obsession Alarm Clocks!
Act now! Supplies are limited!
(Ball not included.)