This is THE most common question I am ever asked! NO! NO! NO! I do not drive a Hummer (I drive a Ford Expedition.) I do not wear tank tops to work. (In the summer I wish I could!) I turn on the lights in my office. (Our city does pay its electric bill, thank you very much!) DNA testing takes MUCH longer than ten minutes between commercial breaks. Yes, I carry a gun. In our department all the CSIs are "real" police officers before they become CSIs and forget how to write a traffic ticket and fill out a booking blotter.

Sometimes . . . mostly because television doesn't have Scratch & Sniff!

I don't! Fences always need repair! Animals always need to be either turned out or put up. Someone is always in need of attention. But I simply cannot imagine life any other way.

Trust me, if you don't have A LOT of work for them to do, you don't want one! If you really think you want a Border Collie, go to "Barbed Wire Border Collies" on the home page and read, "Body By Border Collie." That is a typical morning with a Border Collie. Each day my Border Collie puts out the sheep, puts out the goats, puts out the chickens. Then she plays. Before I go to work she brings in the goats, brings in the sheep, and brings in the chickens. While I'm at work, she and Blue Heeler guard the front yard from the trash truck, the mail carrier, and the evil UPS driver. With that said, there are wonderful rescue organizations out there who have Border Collies who can live happily with much less of a job than my dog requires. Don't let me completely scare you away from them. They are fantastic dogs and, like potato chips, I can see how you "can't have just one!"

You get used to it. My job is about figuring out what is NOT normal. After you've seen enough bodies, you begin to know the stages of decomposition. It's all gross and grody, but you learn to pick out the unusual of the gross and grody. You can recognize when your maggots are in the wrong places, or when your body has been moved. These are all things that help you separate the natural death from the murder.

Yes. The farm stories are true, right down to the talking animals. (grin) The CSI stories are also true. While each story truely reflects the essence of my job, to protect the privacy of the victims and their families, details of each case have been changed considerably.

Thank you very much! Yes, you can! Just let me know which photograph speaks to you. I only ask that the images are not sold.

Failte is a Celtic word that means "welcome" and is pronounced, "fawl cha." But since we have a lot of "Faulty" gates around here, that applies too!

Yes. We used to raise Boer goats, but switched to Dorper sheep and have just added dairy goats. (we don't eat the dairy goats)

Heck if I know! Honey, we are the Blind leading the Visually Impaired around here! I was blessed with a tiny, little black & white puppy who just "did it." In the beginning, we muddled through it because I needed her help. I pushed way too much at her, way too fast, and yet, we both survived and the job got done. I immediately saw how much easier things ran because of her, but I could tell, she was capable of so much more. I finally got wise and sought out a professional herding dog trainer who is teaching me the "right way" to do things. In the past, I just considered whatever it took to get the job done and gave little thought to how that would play out down the road. Now, with professional lessons, Border Collie is much calmer and we are learning to speak the same language. So to answer your question, find someone who can actually teach YOU and your dog.